Could You Use Some Successful Dating Tips?
If you hate dating, then you are not alone. The majority of single people today are tired and frustrated with dating. The result is that many people are living lonely lives when they could be experiencing wonderful times with a soul mate. While the process of dating may be difficult, the benefits of a successful search far outweigh the problems of dating.
Here are three simple (but not necessarily easy) steps to finding the right person for you.
Step # 1 – Get Ready
Before you go out into the dating world you must get yourself ready. If you are not properly prepared, you will get discouraged and down when you don’t meet with success.
What do you expect from dating? If you expect to go out and meet your soul mate this weekend you are going to be very unhappy come Monday morning. Dating is a slow, laborious process that will yield results but it may take a lot of time. Quick dating often leads to disaster. Remember that it is better to be in no relationship instead of the wrong relationship.
Who are you looking for? It is amazing but most people go dating without any idea of who they are looking for. Take some time to think about who you are looking for. Write down all the characteristics that you want and don’t want in a partner. The better job that you do of describing your perfect partner the easier it will be to reject those who don’t match and to recognize those who do match your criteria.
Step # 2 – Go Where Your People Are
You cannot meet anyone sitting at home watching television or reading. Get out of the house and meet new people. Hanging out with the same friends doing the same things is not going to get you where you want to go. You must be meeting new people.
Where are the people who you would like to date? If you did a good job of describing who you are looking for in step # 1, then where would you find that person? Go to the places where that person might be found.
Set a simple goal of getting out of the house 2 or 3 times a week and going to a place where you might meet someone. Maybe it is going to church, to a health club, going hiking with a group, visiting a community service club, volunteering, golfing with a group, etc. Wherever you have identified as the most likely place to find the right someone, go to those places at least a few times a week.
You won’t get immediate results unless you are lucky or desperate. But be open to meeting new friends along the way. This will ease the burden of not dating and being alone. One of these friends might end up being the person that you are looking for. It takes time to get to know someone and in today’s dating world many people decide in the first five minutes whether this person is the right one or not. Usually they decide that the person is not the right one because they don’t know the person well enough yet.
Step # 3 – Learn How to Connect
Connecting with people must be an intentional act, not something that is going to just happen. Whether you are a man or woman, if you want to meet people you must be prepared at all times to take the first step. The first step is the hardest but once it is taken, then usually both people will feel more comfortable to talk.
The easiest way to connect is to ask a question. You may want to have some prepared questions that are not threatening to the other person. Or you may look at the other person and come up with a question at that moment. What is the other person wearing or doing that gives you a clue about what they are interested in? Ask some questions about that since you already know that is an interest of theirs.
Don’t think that you have to have the perfect question or “pick up line”. The objective is to get the conversation started. If you can’t think of anything to say, then just introduce yourself by saying, “Hi, my name is Bruce. What is yours?” Seldom will someone respond by being rude or rejecting but if they are, then you probably don’t want to talk to them anyway. Move on to someone else.
Most of the time, you will meet with a favorable response when you initiate a conversation. Now the ice is broken and the barrier that exists when two people meet is removed. You are free to talk about whatever interests you. Relax. You only have to keep half of the conversation going.
What is everyone’s favorite topic to talk about? ME! Ask people questions about who they are and most people will be more than happy to talk all day about themselves.
So there you have it, three simple steps to a better dating life. Good Luck!
If you have any questions or comments I would love to hear them.
Email me at Bruce@BruceRaine.com